Developmental Milestones
Heather awoke excited about the day ahead. The plan was to take her daughter Hannah to church for a new play-group and then a visit to her nurse practitioner for a nine-month well check-up. It amazed Heather to think of all Hannah had learned to do in nine short months. She cruises around the room holding on to the furniture, says "dadda" and "mama" (never mind that it is said for anything or anybody), feeds herself a cracker and understands "no" (well, she stops and smiles!), just to name a few. She couldn't wait to join the playgroup. She just knew they would both enjoy the experience. At the well check-up, she would find out how much Hannah had grown and learn more about her development.
The playgroup consisted of five moms and their babies. The babies' ages were all between six and 12 months. After spending the next hour participating in conversations with the other moms and observing their babies, Heather came away from the encounter worried and confused. Their babies were so different from her own. Liz's baby was nine months old and walked. Emily's baby was six months old and already cruises and says "mama". The most incredible was Claire's baby, Katrina, who had rolled over in her bassinet in the newborn nursery, walked at six months, and now at twelve months, was toilet-training. It seemed as if all the babies were ahead of schedule in comparison to Hannah. Was she slow? Was she normal?
Warning! No two babies are alike. All babies follow a progressive pattern in their development, but the pace at which they move from stage to stage is entirely individual. How could Heather have started this day so happy and confident and by morning's end, be so unsure about her parenting skills and Hannah's development? Thankfully, a visit to the nurse practitioner is just what was needed for Heather and Hannah.
When Heather and Hannah arrived at the pediatric practice for the well check-up, Heather was asked to fill out a development form. Lynn, the ARNP, reviewed the form and examined Hannah, who performed some of her new skills happily, while refusing to do others. Then Lynn discussed her progress with Heather. Hannah was developing beautifully. When Heather mentioned her concerns in the playgroup, Lynn reminded her of each baby's individually, not to mention that parents' memories could be inaccurate, or that they could be exaggerating. Heather knew that she had succumbed to the "comparison parenting" she had vowed to avoid. She left this visit feeling more confident and delighted with her baby's achievements.
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